My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
—Psalm 27:8 (NIV)
Where is your heart today?
Have you ever sat down to read your Bible, or perhaps a devotional book, and the words on the page feel like—well, just that—words on a page?
Maybe you’ve felt the way I’ve been recently: longing for connection with the Lord, but feeling like your quiet times have come up dry and wanting.
And while there is an abundance of beautiful truths we can hold fast to in those seasons—that God’s word is surely living, active and powerful (Hebrews 4:12), or that God is, factually, always with us (Matthew 28:20)—there’s a certain heart-flutter many of us have come to yearn for: the glory and power of words jumping off the page at us as the Holy Spirit does a tangible work in our hearts and lives.
These moments can feel like the fresh air of our spiritual lives, and when we have gone without them for awhile, the stale-ness can feel suffocating.
And that’s where I found myself today—frustrated. Thankfully, the Lord met me in this moment of honest exasperation, as I was struck with a question that will forever shape my thinking around seasons of spiritual dryness.
Here’s how it went down…
I was settled in, cozy with coffee at my side, the way I have so many times before… oriented in prayer with a stack of Bibles and devotional books nearby. I picked one up, desperate for God, and began reading.
My mind took in a few words, but—as has been the case all-too-often lately—my heart’s engagement was zip-zilch-nada. I couldn’t understand it! I wanted my heart to be invested, but I felt like a high school student reading an obligatory textbook; I didn’t want time with the Lord to feel like a box to check, and yet it did. As I realized this conundrum of wanting to be invested, but yet not being invested, I began to reflect.
“My heart isn’t in this,” I thought to myself. But why not? “If my heart isn’t here, then where is it?”
And boom. That became the question that rocked me.
Where was my heart these days?
This whispered reflection-turned-prayer was answered just as quickly as it was asked, as images of good-things-turned-god-things flooded my mind. In other words, I had let lovely aspects of my life and callings (that began with God) take over my heart and focus, and establish their place on the pedestal of my life in a way that they were never intended to do so.
In that moment, I was reminded that the heart is a single-minded creature; it can only give itself fully to one thing.
We get a glimpse of that concept in Matthew 6:24, as Jesus discusses finances. He proclaims that a person cannot serve both God and money; their heart can only be truly devoted to one.
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and wealth. Matthew 6:24 NIV
Or I consider Joel 2:12-13 where God incites Israel to return to Him with their whole hearts—including mourning, fasting, and weeping. He doesn’t want their half-hearted devotion. And sweetly, this plea is followed with the reminder that God himself is rich in compassion, grace, patience and love. This is the beautiful character of the One who beckons us towards himself.
“Even now,” declares the Lord,
“return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning.”Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the Lord your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity. Joel 2:12-13 NIV
Furthermore, in the book of Jeremiah, there is another piece regarding the life of one whose whole heart is devoted to the Lord. Jeremiah 29:13 promises that those who seek the Lord with their whole hearts will find him!
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
To bring this idea full circle—and back into my own quiet moment this Summer morning—I realized that my devotion had become partially-hearted. And there was repentance that needed to come into play.
Repentance—for giving my heart to so many things that left me striving and unsatisfied.
Repentance—with the reception of a grace that forever longs to welcome me back home.
If you find your own quiet times wanting and dry, may you take a moment to ask the question, “where is my heart today?” And if you find it has wandered from home, may you return wholeheartedly to the refresher of your soul.
May you repent from your misgivings—turning to the One whose love is as grand as His arms are wide—and may you run to Him with reckless abandon.
Bless you today, my friend!
For more on these topics: Luke 15:11-32, Matthew 6:24, Psalm 27:4-5, Jeremiah 29:13
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